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The Arsenal Files 8
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RUBY60-8
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1996-08-31
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3KB
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54 lines
Copyright 1996(c)
By Del Freeman
HE'S JUST MY PILL...
A Ruby D. Begonia Pearl
From the Gimp it and Veep series
"Hey, stop that!" ordered Ruby D. Begonia, bursting into the
rhetoric of the Republican Convention.
"You can't fool me again. You can't make me vote for no Vice
President after what you did with Reagan. He not only didn't die,
he got Bush in for four years, so we had 12 years of double-digit
inflation. I ain't voting on no more tickets what tease me with a
potential death in office, no thanks. Bill's Bill. I know what I
got. You can't sell me no poke pigs," said Ruby.
"You'd rather have Bill Clinton than an honorable man who's
served his country for decades?" asked the closest Republican.
"I figure ol' sourpuss' thinking is frozen in that grimace
like his face is," said Ruby. "Freakin' dead-on, yeah, I'm going
for Bill. With Bill, I know what I got," she said.
"You must be insane," said the Republican. "Bill Clinton has
lied to the American people as has every member of his family,
repeatedly. He has waffled on issues and laughed when he should
have cried. You can't possibly want to keep him in office."
"Sure, I can. Bill's what you see is what you get, and I get
it," said Ruby.
"Bill Clinton, I tell you, has no iota of truth in him,"
insisted the Republican.
"Shoot, everybody knows that," said Ruby. "You think I'm
freakin brain-dead? Ain't a'one of 'em has any truth in 'em.
They're all job applicants, sayin' what you want to hear. Don't
none of 'em mean it--they're looking for a regular gig. They'll
say anything."
"So why on earth would you want Bill Clinton when you could
have a man of character like his opponent?" asked the Republican.
"Because I don't understand that opponent," said Ruby. "I
don't know how a person convinces him or herself he or she is right
about something that affects other people, like abortion. I got no
clue what the opponent wants to do for me, or give to me or to the
country that we're wanting. So far, all I hear him say is 'please,
let me have this job'.
"Now Bill, well he's just gonna be Bill. He's as dishonest as
the rest of 'em, but he ain't all bad and his mind ain't shut down
like Pompeii. Bill'll deal. Besides, I like a bit of a raconteur.
Don't all women?"
"But the opponent Veep..."
"Hey, I told you can't get me on the dole using the veep,
didn't I?"
"Yes, but," said the Republican.
"Never mind, politics makes strange bedfellows. Let's just
shake hands and forget it," said Ruby, shaking the Republican's
hand, pen and all.
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